In my extreme emotional pain, I needed to feel a higher power that could help me. Though I had support from family, friends and a great counselor, I needed more than what any person or thing could provide me. I had been mentally and emotionally damaged and I needed heavenly strength to help me heal. I believe heavenly power is much greater and more powerful than any earthly strength.
Have you looked at something beautiful in nature such as the ocean, a mountain or a sunset, and felt a connection to a higher power? I have felt it many times. That feeling doesn’t come out of nowhere, it comes from inside of us. Have you ever had the feeling that you are not of this world, that you don’t really belong here? Have you ever felt that even home didn’t seem right, or quite like home? Have you ever been standing in a room and felt that the room wasn’t actually reality, that there is something more “out there” that is our reality? I think that we feel this because we are sensing a connection to the divine, the divine that is our Heavenly Father because we are His children. That means that there is divine in us because we are eternal beings just like God is. The feelings of being uncomfortable in this world are because we’re not really of this world, we’re just visiting. Our true home is in heaven.
During my trial, there were times I felt like I was a stranger to my trials and to this earthly life. I felt out of place to be experiencing such an awful thing. But I also felt such a connection to the divine. My Heavenly Father helped me to understand that I was not being mistreated or unloved by God because of the trial I was going through, but that I was unconditionally loved by Him and my Savior. I was given a greater understanding of my place in this temporary world and my connection to the eternal, divine world. This earth is in an un-perfect state, but we are from a perfect world. In this “less than perfect world”, there were many times I would get down or depressed, but I received many tender mercies to help me deal with the challenges that life now offered. I felt the Lord’s grace in my life almost every day. That is one of the blessings from going through trials, we just have to let the Lord into our hearts to feel His love.
Often our individual trials do not feel like they should be happening to us. Difficult trials do not feel comfortable to our spirit, especially when we have an inkling of understanding about who we really are – children of God. Our trials are not always fully understood by ourselves or by others. We reach out to be understood, accepted and loved. That does not always happen. People are imperfect. If something bad happens to someone, we all have our own ideas and opinions about what we think happened and why. We may think that someone has a trial because they deserved it, or that a major error in judgment was made, which is not always the case. Our trials are so individual and sometimes lonely. It’s important not to judge the trials of others, because we have no idea of all the factors involved in their struggle.
Sometimes people may disappoint us and may not be there for us when we need them. We have an expectation and a need, and we feel that others may be insensitive to our needs and feelings. Often they are doing the best they can in their own lives and are just not aware of our needs. I don’t think people mean to be clueless and we can’t expect them to understand what we’ve been going through unless they’ve gone through a similar experience themselves. They may be able to sympathize, but they can’t always empathize. Don’t be offended if others aren’t always there for you when you are in need. Give them the benefit of the doubt, just as you would like them to do the same for you. The lesson is this – earthly friends may not be there for us, but remember that we are not alone, not ever. There is One who is always there for us. Our Savior is with us and even angels to do His bidding in our behalf. When we understand our connection to the divine, we won’t feel disappointed that someone has let us down. When all the world may not know what we feel and what we are going through, Jesus always does!
Even though we are divinely connected to our Heavenly Father in a way that is more real than even this earthly experience, it’s hard to imagine that a divine being will always be there for us, because a veil divides us from our memories of being with our Heavenly Father and knowing Him. We have earthly limitations to our thinking processes, and we don’t believe what we can’t see. I believe our Savior knows us, intimately. That is what the Garden of Gethsemane prayer Christ uttered was all about. He knows us better than anyone could, because He suffered our pains, for us. My pain and aching heart became His own pain. What a beautiful and personal thing He did for each of us! He understands our aches even if we don’t feel His presence, or recognize how He can comprehend our sufferings. When we have wonderings if Christ is there to help us, maybe the question in our minds shouldn’t be, “does He understand me?” or “is He really there for me?” The better question may be “can I and do I believe and know that He is there?” or “what can I do to assure that He will be there to help me?” Another question we may want to ask ourselves is, “am I there for my Savior? Do I show my love and appreciation for Him by the way I choose to live my life? Do I fully appreciate His sacrifice for me?” In the Garden of Gethsemane even His apostles could not wait with Him for one hour as He prayed for relief to His Father, bleeding from every pore. Just as the apostles were not supporting Christ as they slept while he bled from every pore, we are not always believers in Christ, especially when something bad happens to us. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to imagine that He would always be there for us, because sometimes our faith in Him is not there. I know that Christ is always there for us. All we have to do to connect with Him is to believe in Him. He is our connection to the divine!
Maybe we’re all a little bit like a beautiful sunset. Sometimes the most beautiful sunsets come because of smoke in the air caused by unexpected fires. The fires in our lives can bring out the most beautiful colors in us if we will connect with the divine of our creator.