There are many references in scripture about broken hearts and contrite hearts. Most of them have to do with repentance, making things right between us and God for the things we have done wrong. We develop a broken heart because our behaviors have caused a distance to come between us and God, and that distance is painful. In the dictionary “broken hearted” means “suffering from great sorrow or disappointment.” The definition of a “contrite heart” is “feeling or expressing sorrow or regret.” If we have a contrite heart it means that we are sorry when we have done something wrong and thereby become humble and teachable, ready to return to God and live a more righteous life.
The words, “broken heart” brings a tangible image into our minds – we can picture what it feels like to have a broken heart. It is probably something that we have all experienced in our lives in one form or another. In the past when hearing the phrase, “broken heart”, I imagined that someone was penitent and having regret for something they’d done wrong. I had read scriptures many times about broken hearts, but until my struggle was personal, I had never really understood that the scriptures’ meaning was literal, not just figurative. I thought the scriptures were saying that we needed to have an attitude of humility; hearts open to hearing the word of the Lord and turning our hearts to Him. That’s undoubtedly part of it, but for the first time in my life the idea of a broken heart became very real to me.
I understand scriptures about broken hearts now in a very different way. My heart had indeed been broken. My husband was a criminal, my children and other children had been harmed, and it broke my heart! Terrible, awful things had been done to them at his hand, and my heart had been wounded because they had been wounded. I didn’t think my heart could ever feel any happiness or joy again. I didn’t think any part of me would ever be whole again. I felt imprisoned by this new truth that had entered my life. And my heart had been broken by Phil’s behavior.
The truth is, I learned that broken hearts can be mended, even if it’s broken because something very sad has happened in our lives. A broken heart can actually inspire us to turn to the Lord in times of trouble, because we are totally lost and don’t know what to do. Christ wants us to receive His spirit with full heart, and often we must feel a broken heart before that can happen. A broken heart, when accompanied by humility, turns into a contrite heart which makes us vulnerable and teachable. A teachable heart means we listen to the Lord’s spirit to guide and direct us during hard times rather than just being on our own to find our way out of a mess. It is difficult to let go of some of our own stubbornness so we can be teachable. Often the trials in our lives help us shed the barriers that keep us from turning to God. Broken hearts inevitably help us shed those barriers and give us a sincere desire to know what the Lord would like us to learn through those trials.
My world felt shattered, and I didn’t want to be around friends or acquaintances and I certainly didn’t want to go to church knowing that everyone there would be looking at me in a different way than I’d ever been looked at before. I know that in some ways, it may have been temporarily easier for me if I hadn’t gone back to church meetings. It may have saved me some embarrassment and feelings of not belonging. It was hard to face people, to hold my head up and not to be overwhelmed by the humiliation of it all. But I found that attending my Sunday meetings helped me. I listened to the messages, hungry to hear every word spoken and found that there was something for me – a message I needed to hear in every meeting. My heart was touched by the spirit every time. Attending church was like manna from heaven, feeding my aching soul. I needed this spiritual manna so badly – it was heavenly nourishment to my spirit. Our trials contribute to how we feel about everything, but if I had put up a barrier and decided not to attend church, putting up walls because I’d been hurt, it wouldn’t really have protected me from anything. It would only have kept me from receiving the needed messages I needed to heal my broken heart. If we truly want to heal, we have to take those inner walls down and let the light of Christ in. We have to look beyond our hurt and pain, and sacrifice our self-made protections so that the spirit can teach us and change our hearts.
In our modern day, the Lord doesn’t ask us for burnt offering sacrifices as he did in the Old Testament, which in many cases might be an easier request. But He does ask us for a gentle heart and a contrite spirit. He asks us to personally sacrifice our own desires to be more like His. He asks us to take up our cross and follow Him. He asks us to change our hearts so that we may be open to receiving His spirit.
“The real act of personal sacrifice is not now nor ever has been placing an animal on the altar. Instead, it is a willingness to put the animal that is in us upon the altar – then willingly watching it be consumed! Such is the “sacrifice [unto the Lord] of a broken heart and a contrite spirit.” -Neal Maxwell
A broken heart = a true connection and relationship to Christ.
Forgiveness is a big concept with a lot of complicated emotions attached to it. Forgiveness often takes time. It can feel like a long, strenuous uphill hike on a never ending path. There are amazing stories of people who have forgiven their offenders quickly in terrible circumstances. I was not one of those.
The Lord teaches us in the scriptures that to forgive is important and is necessary for our own salvation. The New Testament, book of Mark, 11:26 instructs us that forgiveness is important, “…if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.” That’s a powerful message, that in order to be forgiven of our trespasses, we are required to forgive others of theirs. That may feel like a great burden in some cases of needed forgiveness, yet we all need forgiveness. We all make mistakes and none of us is perfect, and we hope that Father in Heaven will forgive our wrongs. Repentance is something we all must do in order to dwell in Father’s presence. Repentance restores the soul. Forgiveness heals the soul.
Christ teaches us in the scriptures that of us it is required to forgive ”seventy times seven”, Matthew 18:22. I think what He trying to say is that we should never stop forgiving. There isn’t a magical number that if we reach it we can stop forgiving others. Just as repentance is an on-going daily process, forgiving must be the same and should be practiced whenever the need arises. Some offenses may be easier to forgive than others. Depending on the severity of the offense, it may seem impossible and will take time, sometimes a very long time. For me, I thought my forgiveness of what Phil had done could never happen. How could I forgive someone who had wounded these beautiful children in my family? How could he harm my babies who I carried, who I brought into the world and nurtured and loved more anything else in life? How could he wound one of his own? Was he a monster that didn’t have a soul or any feeling of real love? Could or should someone like that be forgiven at all? So many questions, so much emotional mire to wade through.
The idea that I couldn’t or wouldn’t be able to forgive weighed heavily on my mind. I felt hatred creeping in, bringing with it a dark feeling in my soul. This hatred was not an emotion I was familiar with, and it was not comfortable inside me or welcome in my heart. I prayed to understand how Heavenly Father would want me to think and feel. It was a struggle, a battle between my hurt and my heart.
One day as I was expressing this inner battle to a friend, she reminded me of the story of Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian Dutch woman who hid Jews during the Second World War. Her story is written in the book, “The Hiding Place”. I had read the story many years before and recalled the sickening but amazing tale of this woman. Corrie was not a Jew herself, but was sent to a concentration camp during WWII because she had been hiding Jews from the Nazis. Her story is worth reading time and time again, and is a story of amazing faith in the face of oppressive odds. She lives through terrible conditions in the concentration camp, but remains alive after the war ends. She then makes it her mission to share her message of hope in Christ, and how His words were her guide during the horrors of the time she spent in the camp. Her message is one of redemption and the power of the atonement, that all can be forgiven through Christ.
After the war, Corrie traveled throughout Europe and the U.S. telling her story and sharing the message of forgiveness. At a church in Munich after one of her speeches, she recognizes one of the attendees to be the former S.S. man who had been one of her cruel guards and jailers in the camp. He approaches her as the church is emptying. He beams as he thanks her for her message that Christ has washed even his sins away. He extends his hand to shake hers, and she cannot take his hand. She feels anger and sees her own sin in the vengeful feelings she has towards this man. He doesn’t appear to know her, but she certainly remembers him well. Her speech at the church has been about Christ and His forgiveness, but she cannot even raise her hand as she recognizes her own lack of forgiveness for this man. She tries to smile and prays a silent prayer, telling Christ that she cannot forgive this man and asks that Christ give her His forgiveness.
An amazing thing happens as Corrie takes this man’s hand. She feels a current go through him to her, and a sudden love for her jailer comes into her heart. How miraculous! Her prayer, full of sincerity had been answered and she had felt the miracle of forgiving the man right then and there! After my ordeal, I wondered how she could have this change of heart and feel love for this man. Hers is an incredible story, and was an inspiration to me. If she couldn’t forgive such as I couldn’t forgive, but could pray for Christ’s forgiveness to help her, then maybe I could do the same.
So I prayed as Carrie had prayed, asking for help from the Lord. My prayers no longer asked the Lord to help me forgive (as that seemed impossible), but I asked that this burden of forgiveness be transferred from me, to Christ. I asked that this emotional load I carried be placed at Christ’s feet, and I gave it away to Him. Forgiveness for Phil was a great burden for me, and I could not carry it on my own. But I had a different experience than Corrie did, and it wasn’t just suddenly done. My prayers about this were not a “one time” miraculous occurrence of sudden forgiveness. I had to ask for this over and over again, placing my burden at His feet and giving it away to Christ time after time, but I had full faith that the Lord could help lift this burden and help me begin my journey of forgiveness.
As I began giving this burden to the Lord, I felt free. Free from the weight of the oppression I had felt. I found that because I had given my burden to the Lord, the hatred didn’t stay inside me. I believe forgiveness began in my heart because I had given it to Christ to carry. I know that I couldn’t have done it on my own, but it was a beginning on my path to forgiveness that would continue. As I continued down that path, I was able to go on with life and live it rather than staying stuck in my feelings of anger and hurt. I began to feel some happiness, gratitude that I had my beautiful children and the many blessings that the Lord had heaped upon me. There was so much to be thankful for.
Though my forgiveness of Phil hasn’t come all at once, it has come line upon line. There have been many times when my children or other children abused by Phil have gone through difficult times because of the abuse, and when those things happened it seemed that I took a step back in my progression to forgive him. I know I haven’t completely finished the process of forgiving him, but I have come a long way on my “forgiveness path”, and my desire is that at some point in the future it will finally be complete. I know that the Lord understands that I am trying to forgive. My desire is to do the Lord’s will, and my hope is that someday I will be able to say with certainty that my forgiveness of Phil is complete.
It is difficult not to harbor ill feelings towards someone that has wounded us. An offense may play over and over in our minds – it affects not only our emotional state of mind but our physical cells as well. It can affect our health and bring us into a time of “dis-ease” in our bodies, making us physically ill. It’s easy to get difficult thoughts and feelings stuck in a loop that constantly go around and around in our brains because we feel we have been wronged, especially when we have been wronged. With God’s help, we can let go of some things that will keep us in a state of misery and gloom. As you pray to forgive others, ask Heavenly Father to help adjust your “personal filters” that can change your thoughts from hurt, anger and frustration towards an offender into compassion and kindness. Allow the miracle of Christ’s atoning gift to enter your heart. Let Him speak understanding to your mind and invite His suffering to be your healing. It is possible that the perpetrator that has hurt us has also been hurt themselves at some point in their lives and hasn’t received the help they needed to heal their own problems. They may not have ever felt the pure love of God in their hearts.
I have also learned this…our forgiveness of someone cannot be conditional on the offenders’ willingness to admit their offense, or even their desire to say they are sorry. We can’t wait for them to “come around”, to feel remorse over what they have done, because that may never happen. We are the ones that have to take the step toward forgiveness, for our own sanity, peace of mind and preservation of our soul. Forgiving our offenders may not change them, but it will bring peace and light to us.
We must also be willing to forgive ourselves for taking time to forgive. The secret on the path of forgiveness is to keep asking The Lord to help you in the process. Often we have to first work on having the desire to forgive someone who has wronged us or a loved one. If we don’t want to forgive others, then we can pray to the Lord and ask Him to give us the desire to forgive. If we sincerely desire to forgive those that wronged us and take even small steps toward forgiveness, the Lord is happy with our progression. Remember – Jesus is our brother and wants the very best for us. If we are trying and working toward forgiveness, then He will rejoice with us. My healing over this will likely take me the rest of my life, and may not be total in this life – it may not be complete until the next life. The Lord can take away our heavy burdens when we can’t forgive on our own, and He can replace the hatred we feel with His love. He is waiting for the invitation to help us.
Some of us are afraid that if we can’t fully forgive right now, that we have failed. Not true! That message comes from Satan – he wants us to fail, to be hopeless and give up. Satan wants hatred to continue in our hearts. If we remain on Satan’s path, he will have finally won us. The Lord on the other hand wants happiness for us. He wants us to start on a path of forgiveness. Once again, it’s dark verses light. Satan is the darkness, Christ is the light.
I felt great sadness for what Phil had thrown away. Whether or not Phil will ever fully repent of these depravities, I do not know. Unless there is full repentance on his part in the future, he may have exchanged his eternal heritage for an earthly binding that will keep his soul imprisoned. I feel pity for him. He cannot be released from his eternal prison until he gives his own burden to Christ.
I’m grateful every day that I chose to embark upon the path of forgiveness, the path that leads me to Christ.
To begin this chapter, let’s establish the meaning of the word “pioneer”.
(noun) A person who helps create or develop new ideas, methods, etc.
(verb) To help create or develop (new ideas, methods, etc.)
For many years I didn’t like the word “pioneer” and what it represented. I had a strong dislike for pioneer stories of the 1800’s and how hard they worked to move to the west and set up a new life out of practically nothing. (If you love pioneer stories, don’t give up on my attitude just yet.) It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate their sacrifices, hardships and the amazing things they did, it was because they are often immortalized. I, on the other hand, was experiencing modern day hardships and I felt like a piece of dirt, shunned at times. Pioneer stories praised and admired those sufferers (as they should be), but their tales were like scraping fingers on a chalk board to my ears. I couldn’t listen to them, which made me feel worse. I didn’t want to hear about their terrible troubles because I was dealing with my own. I guess I might have been angry that their stories got so much attention. I didn’t want any attention for my trial, rather the opposite was true. I wanted to run and hide my head in the sand. But I felt that I was going through something every bit as hard and equally terrible as the pioneers had, but nobody talked about the type of experiences my family was having. Who would want to? My troubles were not “faith promoting” things to talk about. The subject of child sex abuse was taboo, too painful or imapproriate to bring up in a church or public setting. People didn’t want to talk about abuse or to hear about it. Of course the subject was too hard, too uncomfortable for people to hear. I understood that, but for me…I was living it, forced into addressing it. I didn’t have the luxury of ignoring it. Life appeared to me as if everyone else was going on as usual with their own lives while I was living hell on earth. So listening to or reading history of pioneer stories was emotionally painful and I didn’t want to hear them anymore.
After a while and some healing of my own, things changed. Considering the things I had been through, I started feeling like a pioneer in my own right. My counselor Mark worked with children and families that had experienced abuse. I longed to connect with other women who were going through similar things as I was and share our pains. One day I asked my counselor if there was a support group among the women he worked with, other women whose husbands had sexually abused their children. He said there was a group, and the women got together to talk about their experiences. I was excited at the prospect of connecting with other women who understood what I was going through. I asked Mark if I could be a part of the group so I wouldn’t feel so alone in my troubles. He said that I could be included, but cautioned, “Sophia, you won’t want to be a part of this group.” “Why wouldn’t I?” I asked. “Because these women have chosen to stay with their husbands” was his reply. My initial reaction to this information was disappointment and disbelief that other women chose to stay in a marriage where their husbands had abused their own children. Indeed, I had chosen to end my marriage which was the only way I could feel peace. I told Mark he was right, that I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to be a part of such a group. Though I had received my answer from God to leave the marriage, I had also come to understand that I could not stay with a man who had taken away my children’s right to choose. They had been acted upon before their little minds could even understand the concepts, behaviors and actions Phil imposed upon them. I could not remain in a situation like that.
At this stage of my story, I wish to state that I do not judge other women for their life decisions. I have grown and learned that I can’t judge others about the choices they make for their marriages. There are many situations that are difficult for endless reasons beyond my understanding. None of us can be inside someone’s head and fully understand their experiences. But I will add this one admonition that I believe with all my heart – mothers and wives that stay in a marriage and family where sexual abuse is present, knowing that their children are being abused and not standing up for them is wrong. Though I can’t understand why a womans’ decision would be to remain in a marriage with an abusive husband, my hope is that fear will not keep any of us from leaving a situation that is damaging to our children’s souls.
So there I was, in some ways like other women who had been through this experience, but very unlike other women in my predicament. For the first time I realized that I was a pioneer in this subject of life, choosing a path others did not choose. I was pioneering a new way and had the conviction and unwavering belief that I was doing the right thing for my family. That pioneering action would make all the difference in mine and my children’s futures.
A change came over me regarding pioneer stories, and I began to love hearing any and all pioneer stories I could get my hands on. I felt a love, appreciation, admiration and a kinship to them for the hardships they had been through. These were amazing people of the past, these courageous and heroic people who left something behind in exchange for something better. I understood them now. I realized that we all have more in common with them than we might think. Now I wanted to be a part of them, and I wanted them to welcome me into their circle. Their trials were very different from mine, but I wanted to be counted among them. I couldn’t imagine their sufferings, but at times I got the feeling that they wouldn’t be able to imagine mine.
Later I would seek out their stories to strengthen me. If they could get through the wilderness and their trials, then I could do it, too. My “wilderness” might be different from theirs, but I still had their example and their courageous strength to show me the way. I love pioneers and I love their stories!
In this stage of my life, I’ve thought a lot about the pioneers of the past and their trials. Often they left a comfortable life in search of freedom, but their journey wasn’t an easy one. Though many had wagons, most walked a long way, wearing out shoes, coming across unfriendly people or territories, sleeping on the hard ground, running of out supplies and food – in many cases barely able to survive. I’ve also thought a lot about our day and what things make us modern day pioneers. What are our struggles in a modern day world? Additional definitions of a Pioneer are: “One who is among the earliest in any field of inquiry, enterprise.” “To act as a pioneer. To be a pioneer of or in.” Have you ever considered yourself a pioneer? Have you ever had to deal with a trial that was unusual, out of the ordinary or make a decision for your life that was something you never imagined you’d have to deal with? Have you ever felt all alone in your struggles but persevered and hung on to hope until you came to better days in your life? Have you ever been hurt by someone and later had courage to reach out and help someone else because you understood what they were going through? Have you had others be-little you or taunt you or try to get you to do something that was wrong, yet you stayed strong and rose above their attempts to bring you down? If so, then you are a pioneer in your day!
Pioneers of the past were sometimes driven from their homes because of their belief in God. Mobs came and destroyed their homes, harmed their families, sometimes killed them and threatened them making it impossible for them to stay where they were. They trekked to escape the persecution that the mobs inflicted. In our world today I believe that we also have “mobs” around us. They may not be typical of those mobs of the past, but have a negative effect on us just as the mobs of the past had on the pioneers. Our “mobs” may lurk in the shadows and attack us slowly and methodically in a way that is almost imperceptible. Technology that adds to our lives also has a dark side; pornography, negative social media and obsessive /malicious computer games that keep us from focusing on things of light. Maybe our “mobs” are the love of money over the love of God and human relationships, music that brings a dark spirit or abusive behaviors that harm others for our personal benefit or gain. Just as the pioneers of old trekked away from their mobs, we can find the courage to shun the “mobs” that attack our lives every day. We can choose to stand for goodness and seek the light found in the gospel of Jesus Christ as we leave our “mobs” behind. We can fight against the evils of the world and we can step forward and trek toward God. We really have more in common with the pioneers of the past than we may think. We are all modern day pioneers, and that’s exactly what the Lord wants us to be.
Webster’s Dictionary describes millstones in two ways: Millstones, noun. 1. Either a pair of circular stones between which grain is ground, as in a mill. 2. a heavy burden. Both the physical properties of a millstone’s basic function of grinding grain and the actual weight of a millstone (heavy burden) are applicable to our lives.
The first description of a millstone is its’ physical state. Millstones have been used for hundreds of years to grind grain and nuts. Romans, Greeks and Egyptians all used millstones to crush their grain. When I visited the Holy Land, the millstones I saw were ancient, from Biblical times. They were large, often three feet in diameter. Millstones are heavy stones that have been cut into a circular shape and look somewhat like a tire, flat on each side. In order to do the work of grinding, there must be a pair of millstones. One sits at the bottom as a base or “bedstone” and is stationary while the other is placed flat on the top of the base. The top stone has a hole in the middle into which the grain is poured and is called “the runner”, rotating on top of the base stone. Grooves that have been cut into the face of each stone serve as knives, helping to cut, grind and crush the grain into a meal or flour as it moves between the stones. Millstones are meant to be heavy so the pressure and weight between the two stones may refine the grain in order for it to become flour. Millstones were an essential part of people’s lives and were considered “mighty” because they served an important purpose – to break the shell of the wheat, making it workable so that it could be made into the life giving bread that was a staple of their lives and survival.
The second description refers to an emotional description of a millstone. There are several scriptural references to millstones in the Bible. It is interesting to me that in the scriptures the Lord points out a much different purpose for a millstone than the basic use it had at the time. The scriptures I am referring to don’t deal with the functionality and importance that a millstone was for people in their daily lives during Bible times, but instead the weight of a millstone was used to point out the severity of certain crimes. The people knew the mighty and weighty nature of millstones, and the Lord uses to a millstone illustrate how it could be used against an offender of children. In Matthew 18:6 after the Lord has said that, “Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” Then it continues, “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” In Mark 9:42 we find this message repeated, “And whosoever shall offend one of these my little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.” Millstones are powerful and heavy enough to pull a person down, and if one were to be hung around someone’s neck and they were then tossed into the sea, it would surely take them to the bottom of the ocean. With that millstone “hung about the neck”, there would be no coming back, no escape – the weight of the stone would make sure of that. The description is quite severe – a final reward in the depths, someplace dark, someplace where there is no air to breath, no hope of surviving, someplace where life ends. The scripture verses not only serve as a warning to those who chose to offend children, but they tell us that drowning in the depths of the sea may be preferable to the actual consequence that would happen to someone who chooses to harm our little ones.
In my mind I have pictured a millstone around the neck of my ex-husband. It doesn’t give me satisfaction that this might be his reward, nor do I have feelings of revenge or relief to think this may be his eternal consequence for deplorable behavior. I see it as a death sentence to the soul. In this case, a father whose job it is to care for, comfort and protect must face a terrible judgment from God if that father chooses to abuse his own child. I know that God sees all his children as His own, and would not want His little children to be abused, not one of them! I see the Lord’s strong language about little ones being offended and millstones “around the neck” as being the consequence of a perpetrators behavior, and I understand why the Lord spoke so strongly. Phil’s abuse was a criminal offense that altered the lives of the children and all that were affected by the abuse. Phil’s life was ruined, my life was forever changed.
This second description in the dictionary of a millstone being an emotional one, “a heavy burden” does not apply to the offender. It applys to the one that has been offended. Sexual abuse experienced in childhood places an emotional, mental and spiritual burden upon children that have been abused. The child (or adult) that has been abused carries a tremendously heavy burden resulting from the abuse. It affects them in several ways:
The innocence of childhood is taken from a child through abuse. Their bodies are used for someone else’s selfish desires and sick pleasure, and their spirits have been demeaned and disrespected. Their little minds are still growing, learning behaviors and maturing and are not capable of understanding adult behavior and actions, or the place that sexual behavior has in an adult life. They do not have the capacity yet to deal with a sexual experience. When children grow to be adults, they can then understand that sexual interaction with their spouse should be one of light and goodness. But a sexual act is confusing and upsetting to a child, not to mention the physical harm it may inflict.
Introducing a child prematurely to something that only mature minds can understand may change their association of what real love should be. An abused child deals with a dark experience and a heavy burden of their own – a twisted view of what love and being loved should be. Being loved is confused with being objectified due to a perpetrators’ deviant behavior, and real love becomes a difficult concept for abused children to understand. This is crime! Because all of God’s children deserve to feel true and abiding love.
Through the process of abuse, Satan has been introduced to the child and invited into their lives by the offender in a way that should never be. The result of Satan’s presence through this horrific action is staggering. The darkness of his influence is haunting and affects the way they can function and perceive the world. It becomes a mental and emotional fight for them to make their way out of Satan’s grasp. Their sweet souls of light have been taken to a place of such darkness, and particularly during an abusive session, their ability to choose to stay in the light has been taken away, at least for a time.
I consider all this the “heavy burden” of the millstone of abuse.
Sexual abuse is a huge burden in a person’s life, a burden that requires professional help and is a burden that only the Lord can ultimately heal. I believe in miracles. I have seen them in my own life many times, particularly as I have gone through this horrendous experience. Though I was not the abused child, I believe the millstone of abuse is a heavy burden that can actually teach the one that has been offended. These “millstone like” experiences do change you, but I have observed that the changes abuse causes don’t have to permanently keep a victim in a dark place. That emotional millstone you may carry as an abused child can be lifted. Your trial, your personal millstone doesn’t have to pull you down in the depths of the sea with your abuser. There is hope! Christ has taught that we can rise above our trials, and we can be in a place of light even though we were taken to place of darkness. That is the miracle! As an adult that has had to deal with heavy trials, I also know that our “heavy burden” millstones can be lifted with help of our Savior.
Just as the physical millstone crushes the wheat and changes it to be used for life giving bread, so we are refined by our personal millstones. It is painful to be “crushed” and changed in the process of our trials. These millstone trials have broken us down, requiring us to shed our hard and crusty exteriors so that we are pliable enough to be mixed with other spiritual ingredients that allow us to become like Christ who is the bread of life. Christ offers to take us in our “trodden down” state and tells us that He can make us into something whole and delicious to Him. He is the “finisher” of our souls that can take us from a broken, clay-like, powdery state and turn us into a beautiful, sculpted masterpiece!
As parents we understand that growth is needed in our children’s lives. We watch as a baby must physically learn to walk, talk, eat, and communicate as they literally grow up to an adult stature. Growth is needed throughout our lives as we change mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Progression requires that we must learn to grow and change and become more than we currently are. We cannot remain the same. We learn from experience, experiences that are hard! Though we don’t invite all the experiences we have in life, it appears that we have to go through them whether they are wanted or not. The refining process of our millstone experiences can help us grow. Our Savior Jesus Christ will help us, if we will only ask Him. He is our loving Shepherd, our wise Counselor, our kind Redeemer and the Prince of our Peace.
